"It's okay to love a lot and lose a lot,
and love again."-Dani Davis
"When we don't deal with our pain and grief, we can become disfigured and diminish the gift of life we have to yet live."-Belinda Lams
"I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything is okay now. I should be happy, right?"
This is what I often hear from my clients after they get through an ordeal. When the heavy pressure is over, they imagine there will be no more pain and sorrow.
While there is a momentary relief after a crisis, the journey isn't complete.
Enduring a crisis—engaging challenges—requires a powerful and focused energy. There isn't much time to think about anything else except getting to the other side without losing too many limbs.
Once the pressure is off, there is time to reflect; to review what happened, account for the losses, and check in with yourself.
In Dani's episode, she shares of this exact experience. Everything was "fine" on paper, yet something didn't feel right. Through our coaching sessions, we identified that it was time to grieve what had happened and all that she had lost.
Regarding the loss of her marriage she says, “In that moment I lost my husband, I lost my creative partner, I lost my business partner, I lost my parenting partner, I lost myself…”
People don’t just bounce back after a difficult experience of loss. The body and soul need to purge the collected pain. If you skip this very important process, the pain will visit you in other ways, leaking out through seemingly unrelated symptoms.
Grief provides the authentic path to healing.
Whether you lose a person, your health, your belief system, your dreams, all of these need to be honored by the grieving process. This creates a clear and healthy space within from which to journey onward.